The First Question to Ask Yourself When Someone Lies to You


Do I make it easy to tell me the truth?


Imagine your partner loves to build model trains.  You make it all too well known that you think anyone who loves model trains is an idiot (why you choose to think that is a whole other session.)


If your partner finds out about a weekly Model Train Building workshop, do you think his first inclination will be to tell you, the Model Train Builder Hater, that he's interested in checking it out?


In fact, he's probably more likely to sneak away to the meeting, lie to you about it, and hope  it never comes up.  Because for him, in that moment, it's more comfortable to lie than to deal with the negativity you dish out any time he talks about his Train Love.


Now, don't go twisting this all around into, "what??? You're telling me that it's okay that he lied????"  because that's not what I'm saying.  Not even close.


What I'm suggesting is that before we get all tweaked out about the lie itself, we ask ourselves if we might have played a role in setting a stage that makes telling the truth so difficult.


Tell me what you think in the comments below.  Is a lie solely the responsibility of the liar?



Allegra SteinComment