Mental mistakes that spoil a relocation #3: Worrying that you'll be friend-less forever.


Believing that because you’re moving your friendships are over.

After I trekked a bazillion miles back to Los Angeles from the Peace Corps I was able to spend some time reconnecting with my high school friends. It was an amazing time and I feel very lucky, even today, for having rediscovered them and how awesome they are. 

When the chance came up, then, to move to New York with Teach For America, I really struggled with the idea of having to say goodbye to everyone, AGAIN. I was certain at the time that staying in California was what I wanted to do.

But when would I have the chance again to move to New York? I was terribly torn.

One of the defining moments that helped me make up my mind was when my dear friend Baron, over the beers we were sipping at in the local bar, said to me, "Legs. Our friendship isn't going anywhere."

(Yes. My nickname is Legs.)

That reminder in that moment was so reassuring. And in the end, so true.

Oh nights like this!    Credit

Oh nights like this!  Credit

I'm not saying that leaving good friends is easy. I've had plenty of tearful and heartfelt goodbyes.

What makes those moments more painful, though, is choosing to believe that somehow the relationship will be lost forever. Of course that's going to sting.

What I've learned is that friendships are what you make them to be, even when you live in the same town. 

I also remind myself that the amazing and widespread network of friends I am honored to have today only exists because I was willing to face those tearful "see you soon"s along the way.

Real friendship, in the end, is never about geographic proximity. Ever.

What about you? What have you discovered about friendship through all of your journeys? Share in the comments below!

friends, fearAllegra SteinComment