there is comfort in forgettting

When you really think about it, it's amazing how much of our lives we've forgotten. It's quite possible that we forget 99% of our lives. (That's not official it's just a number I'm making up that feels about right.)

Consider last week, for example. Or last month. How many meals do you remember? Moments? Thoughts? Do you remember being annoyed last Tuesday? Angry on Thursday at 3:23PM? Do you remember the words that came out of your mouth or the expression on your sister's face?

Maybe there are a few things you remember from last week - especially if you're a journaler and keep track of details like that.

But without deliberately revisiting all of those moments, most of 'em end up slipping through the cracks.

Have you heard the rule of 10s? It goes something like this:

How will you feel about this in ten minutes?

Ten hours?

Ten days?

Ten months?

Ten years?

That exercise simply gets you to pause, take a breath, and realize that you're PROBABLY going to forget about whatever is bothering you right in this moment. So why wait? Just forget about it RIGHT NOW. Relax about it RIGHT NOW. Release it RIGHT NOW.

All of this helps me when I'm feeling something I don't want to feel, or experiencing an uncomfortable moment, especially of self-doubt or self-consciousness that I've made the wrong decision or said the wrong thing.

I learn what I can from it and then tell myself, "don't worry, Allegra. Next week you won't remember this moment."

I really enjoy forgetting. When I first come to a place, I notice all the little details. I notice the way the sky looks. The color of white paper. The way people walk. Doorknobs. Everything. Then I get used to the place and I don’t notice those things anymore. So only by forgetting can I see the place again as it really is.
— David Byrne
Allegra SteinComment