Coaching Extravaganza Day 1 - The Big Picture
The first: Our feelings are a result of our thinking. Nothing has the power to CAUSE feelings inside your body. Your boss can't "make you" angry. Your paycheck can't "make" you frustrated. Your partner can't "make you" feel loved.
All of that stuff - the anger, the frustration, the love-ed-ness - is a result of your thinking about your business partner, your paycheck, your partner.
You feel what you think, and part of my work is separating out for you what's true from what you THINK about what's true. The facts from the beliefs.
The second: Thoughts don't have any power unless you give it to them through your attention. They aren't solid. Or real. Or permanent. YES they can create powerful feelings, and those are valid. But the thinking behind them isn't.
(That leap from "all of my thoughts are true and real!!" to "maybe these thoughts aren't true and real???" to "OH MY GOSH! None of this is real!!!" is a very personal and powerful experience. Some people "get" it after one conversation. Others enjoy a longer journey. And some simply spend their entire lives caught up in the story of their thinking, no matter how painful it might be. Neither path is right or better than another (which would simply be a thought), though I suspect if you're here it's because you're at least willing to look at things in a different way than you have been up until now.)
You can be thinking about a difficult conversation you want to have with your spouse one moment and feeling some anxiety about it....and then ten minutes later realize that you've calmed down and forgotten what you'd been thinking about.
Thoughts are like wisps of smoke, drops of water in a river, snowflakes in a snow globe. Sometimes they're settled, sometimes they're tossed around and busy. But no one thought is any more important or powerful than another. The thought you have about your upcoming interview means no more than the thought you had about the dust on your car windshield.
We just believe that it does.
Next: Underneath the thick, ego-filled, chatterbox layer of your thinking... you're perfectly fine. Absolutely perfect. Totally full of well-being and goodness and calm, You were born centered and it hasn't left you.
You've simply been caught up in your thinking for a long time, captivated with the story that to feel that feeling (which already within you!!!) you've got to do or have something "out there".
Just notice what happens when that thinking settles -- when you're spending time with friends and suddenly catch yourself having forgotten about your "daily troubles", personal judgements and future worry and enjoying a wonderful time. Or when you're hiking in the woods and you walk out feeling more refreshed and mentally clear than you were when you went in.
The friends didn't cause that. The trees didn't either. What you're feeling is what remains within you when your chatterbox thoughts settle and your mind slows down.
That feeling is within you in every moment, and part of my work is reminding you of that.
Finally: When you let yourself rest in that space of the quiet mind you discover what I call your Thermal Vents. These are your unlimited, potential-filled sources of fresh Thinking, new Ideas, Creative Solutions, Wisdom. When you're in the space of a mentally quiet mind you suddenly come upon Insights out of nowhere.
Have you ever been unable to remember something that should easily come to you? And the minute you walk away from the struggle and start doing something else the answer pops into your mind?
Or how it's when you're taking a shower or driving in the car that you have your best ideas about what do next with in your work or life?
There's a reason for that. Your mind settles down in those circumstances...and when it does, you spot fresh thinking. The good news is that it's not a fluke when that happens - you can tap into that any time you want.
It all looks so simple, and it is. You're perfectly fine and already at peace, you have unlimited well-being, creative potential and wisdom where you can find any answer you're looking for, and the only thing ever keeping you away from those things are thoughts you believe to be true.
I'm here to remind you of all that.